Ebook Free A Loss for Words: The Story of Deafness in a Family, by Lou Ann Walker
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A Loss for Words: The Story of Deafness in a Family, by Lou Ann Walker
Ebook Free A Loss for Words: The Story of Deafness in a Family, by Lou Ann Walker
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Review
"A deeply moving, often humorous, and beautiful account of what it means to be the hearing child of profoundly deaf parents . . . I have rarely read anything on the subject more powerful or poignant than this extraordinary personal account by Lou Ann Walker."-- Oliver Sacks"[Walker) describes in moving detail the joys of growing up in a family where the simplest communication was never taken for granted." -- "Newsweek""In this remarkable memoir, Walker recreates the pain and the joy ofgrowing up between two worlds: her parents' loving but silent home, and theoften confusing world she encountered outside those walls, and of which shewas inevitably a part." -- "Seattle Times-Post Intelligencer""I have never thought hard about this before, but now I see that what deaf people do in sign language is even more mysteriously and specifically, biologically human than speech itself. My respect for the deaf, always high, is now still higher. My awe for the human mind is out of sight." -- Lewis Thomas"Readers will come away from this book informed, deeply moved and full of admiration for Walker's marvelous parents."-- "People""I loved "A Loss for Words." [The] style is brisk and clear and, it seems to me, never sentimental . . . The Lou Ann who emerges to find her own voice and write this book is a character whom I admire as much as any literary hero." -- Max Apple"In the end, I wanted to cheer Lou Ann Walker for having thegumption to write about a matter so close to her heart, learning to love and accept her parents as they are, not as she wished them to be. This is a gem of a book." -- "Glamour""Beautifully written and deeply affecting . . . There is humor in [Walker's] recollections but nothinglighthearted in accounts of crude or condescending reactions to her father and mother from indifferent people. Walker is candid in dealing with her own frustrations and the burdens of life with the deaf." -- "Publishers Weekly""So profoundly other is the unhearing culture . . . that moving itinto a language we learn by hearing took both gifts and a nearlysavage determination." -- "New York Times Book Review"This book is worth reading simply for its celebration of the strength and perseverence of the human spirit and for its account of a woman coming to terms with herself and a family coming to terms with itself."-- "American Annals of the Deaf"
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Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
Chapter OneRearview MirrorEn Route to Cambridge, MassachusettsSeptember 1973Mom and Dad drove me out to Harvard the fall I transferred. I'd never been east of Ohio. Looking back now, I know I was frightened. That day it came out as sullenness. I was scared of being a small fish in a big pond, terrified of being looked down on as the hayseed from Indiana. I was convinced that once the Harvard and Radcliffe administrations actually saw me, they would tell me to go home. I was looking forward to getting away from home. Not from my parents. I was itching to break away from small-town thinking from plainness, from flat land and houses that looked alike, from the constant interpreting, carrying out business transactions, acting as a go-between for my parents and a world that really didn't have much patience. My head was filled with the aura, the stateliness of the Ivy League. Names resonated with import: Currier, Lowell, Winthrop. I could smell and hear things I'd never encountered, but in my imagination I knew they existed, and I felt sure that upon my arrival--if I wasn't sent home--wonderful happenings would occur. I wouldn't be burdened by timidity. No one would know of my mistakes unless I repeated them. I'd just spent two years at Ball State University in Muncie, Indiana, with some vague idea that I wanted to be a teacher of the deaf. When the program turned out to be less than I expected, and when I didn't feel I was getting enough challenge in my other classes, I applied to four eastern colleges and was accepted. Harvard took very few transfers that year--the next year, none were admitted at all--and although the admission officers were very kind to me, all the literature they'd sent warned how difficult it was to switch colleges in midstream. Now I looked up at the back of my parents' heads and I sank down low in the car's back seat. Filling out the application, I'd made prominent mention of the fact that they were deaf. The entrance essay, which was supposed to be about me, was actually about them. Many applicants use a father's or grandfather's degree to get them into the family alma mater, but neither of my parents had set foot in a college classroom. The irony that I was shamelessly using my deaf mother and, my deaf father to get into Harvard was not lost on me. Neither was the fact that although I'd willingly and openly tell people they were deaf and I would briefly answer questions, I just wasn't going to say anything else. It was all too complicated. Most of the sixteen-hour trip to Cambridge I brooded over a freshman reading list, the kind given out to high school seniors that includes all the books they should have read by the time they matriculate. I'd read very little of what was on that list. When I'd received it in the mail, I had gone to the library, taken out Ulysses, and despaired. I understood nothing. I sat in the back seat for hundreds of miles, worrying that I'd have nothing to discuss at the dining table. And every once in a while I'd look up to watch my parents' conversations. When the highway was deserted, Dad could comfortably shift his eyes from the road to Mom's hands. When traffic got heavy, he would have to watch the road and then his glances were shorter. If he wanted to pass a car, he'd hold up an index finger at Mom, signaling her to suspend the conversation for a moment. It was always easier for the driver to do the talking, although that meant his signs were shortened and somewhat less graceful. He would use the steering wheel as a base, the way he normally used his left hand; his right hand did all the moving. Curled up in the seat, chin dug into my chest, I noticed there was a lull in the conversation. Dad was a confident driver, but Mom was smoking more than usual. "Something happened? That gas station?" Mom signed to me. "No, nothing," I lied. "Are you sure?" "Yes. Everything is fine." Dad and I had gone in to pay and get directions. The man behind the counter had looked up, seen me signing and grunted, "Huh, I didn't think mutes were allowed to have driver's licenses." Long ago I'd gotten used to hearing those kinds of comments. But I never could get used to the way they made me chum inside. Mom was studying me. Having relied on her visual powers all her life, she knew when I was hiding something. "Are you afraid of going so far away from home? Why don't you stay in Indiana? This distance. Why wasn't college in Indiana good enough?" "Mom. No! Cut it out." She turned and faced front again, then she tried to distract both of us by pointing out a hex symbol on a barn. Dad hadn't seen exactly what either of us said, but he'd caught the speed and force of my signs from the rearview mirror, and he could feel the tension coming from behind him. Mom had struck several nerves in me. Not only was I stepping into foreign territory--I hadn't been able to afford to visit any of the schools to which I'd applied--but also, back home in Indiana, none of my relatives or high school friends had been enthusiastic about my going east. To Hoosiers, Harvard means highbrow and snotty, too good for everyone else. Before I had left, Grandma Wells, my mother's mother, had admonished me, not once but several times, "not to get too big for my britches."
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Product details
Paperback: 224 pages
Publisher: Harper Perennial; 8/17/87 edition (September 16, 1987)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0060914254
ISBN-13: 978-0060914257
Product Dimensions:
5.3 x 0.5 x 8 inches
Shipping Weight: 11.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.6 out of 5 stars
68 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#291,971 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
I couldn't put the book down. I finished it in less than two weeks. I am beginning to learn and appreciate there is a Deaf Culture that needs to be shared with and taught to the hearing world. The author was very open about her life as a hearing child that grows up with Deaf parents, and for the most part is their interpreter in the hearing world. I like how she teaches how an American Sign Language word would be signed, when she explains certain instances that are happening. I loved the depth to which she exposes her mentality of what it was actually like in her immediate and extended family. The book was filled with love and written with humility and humor. When I got finished reading it, my first thought was I would like to know what her parents who are deaf would write about their life from their viewpoint. I thought the author brought a lot of light and dignity to her parents in this book.
As a CODA, child of deaf adult, I found this book extremely relatable. The misunderstandings, shortness and impatience of the "hearing world" were conveyed in a way that explains why the deaf population feel so alienated. This book brought back so many memories of my own childhood and cemented my love and admiration for deaf culture. I feel that "words" can lead to misinterpretation that strips the beauty of feeling someone else's energy, spirit, and emotion. Words, in a sense, harden the heart and places a divider between human beings.
One of the things I like best about this memoir is that all of the family members are decent people. Lou Ann Walker's parents both became profoundly deaf during infancy and they both dealt with this challenge with great character, as did Lou Ann and her two younger sisters. It's both fascinating and wrenching to see how the three Walker girls dealt well with the challenges and responsibilities presented to them by their parents' shared disability.Even more affecting is Lou Ann's relating of her coming into adulthood and launching her career in New York City and dealing with the effects of the challenges she faced in childhood. In the end, this book is a celebration of the human spirit.
Wow. This book is a great insight into the Deaf World. It is a fantastic story of her experience, and it is so honest. It should be a must read for every hearing student.
As the oldest child in a family with deaf parents, I can totally relate to what the author went through. I was disturbed by a few of the reviews I read though. People are so quick to judge when they don't have a clue about the world that hearing children of deaf parents live in. I went through all the same experiences that the author did as well as many more. As the oldest child I too was responsible for all the interpreting and basically felt as though I was "raising" my parents instead of the other way around. It is not a fun way to grow up. I found myself annoyed by the reviewer who said they found deaf people to be "fun" and that the author was too dour and negative about the deaf culture. Don't be so quick to judge until you walk in our shoes. The deaf community I was exposed to was not a "fun" one. They were, as a whole, a very distrusting, backstabbing, and gossipy group. I am NOT saying all deaf people are this way! I can only relate what MY personal experiences were. The reviewers who said that it seemed to be the author's own "personality quirks" that made her experience life with deaf parents the way she did don't have a clue either. We are basically products of our upbringing and the life we live as a child. Yes, we can choose as adults to move forward and overcome much of the damage that may have been done, BUT you cannot change who you are nor can you erase the person you are completely. And much of that is formed in childhood, a childhood that is VERY different from mainstream society if you grow up as a hearing child with deaf parents. I suffer from anxiety I believe it is because of the overpowering sense of responsibility I was burdened with as a child, which I cannot seem to shake as an adult and mother of 4. Anyone studying ASL or truly trying to gain insight into the deaf world would definitely benefit from reading this novel.
My son had to read a book for ASL and this is what we chose. I ended up skimming through it and while it is "older" I really enjoyed it. The struggle of having parents who are deaf and feeling embarrassed as a child and then growing up and understanding.
Read this for my ASL class. Amazing book. Really helps understand the personal view of the history and societal perspective of dead people.
I am a CoDA (child of a deaf adult).and LuAnn did a wonderful job writing this book. I highly recommend this book. Especially to fellow CoDAs.
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